I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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