my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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