its not stalking. its research.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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