Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
