You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize