Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
