What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
