he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
