he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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