DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
