Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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