mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize