Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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