is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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