So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize