6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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