I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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