are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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