If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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