Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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