For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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