no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
