there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
