omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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