If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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