i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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