Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
