i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
