O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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