she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
