Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize