i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize