My nipple is on Facebook.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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