I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
