So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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