I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
