So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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