found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
