Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize