Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
