she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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