i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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