It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
