I wish I could punch you in the face.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
