no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
