its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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