the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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