just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
