Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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