I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
