It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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