Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize