Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
