i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
