There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
