it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
His hands were made for my vagina.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
