4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
