i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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