I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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