he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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