Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
