Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize