in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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