Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
