ya dads aren't the best wingmen
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
