I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
