This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
