he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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