dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
