it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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